Darling Stepford fans, I have been remiss in posting lately. My actual job (that pays me money) is really busy, and here’s the big news, we are moving to Los Angeles. Pause for laughter, applause, polite applause, or my sister’s patented ‘you-are-an-idiot’ lip pinch smirk. I’ll blog later about how UHaul only hires social media addicted heavily eyebrowed girls to run their front desk and also how they are too busy on Instagram to call out if you buy the Plate Packing Package you actually need to grab the box that goes with it, or you’re just left with some honeycombed cardboard and green puffy padding.Which results in a lot of accusations of ‘Who Moved the plate packing box’, digging thru the mini van and eventually a trip back to UHAUL. Anyhoo, that’s the big news, but I’ve missed you and wanted to continue sharing my observations about this ridiculous parenting gig.
Also, thanks to all that shared my last video about the crazy soccer Dad. Yes, it IS a true story! People thought I made that up. I cannot make that kind of shit up.
Yesterday, the husband ran into a friendly neighbor at Starbucks. Apparently we are friends on Facebook or something because he mentioned the pending LA move. My husband is always unimpressed by my oversharing and is like ‘do you have to tell everyone everything’. Hello??? What do you think Facebook is built on – oversharing of personal shit that no one else gives a crap about. Hey Zuck, there’s your new tag line.
They exhanged chit chat and then he leans into my husband and says “I’ve read your wife’s blog. It’s….(pause)…Interesting.”
I jump down his throat. “Interesting? My blog is ‘Interesting’??? Did he smile when he said it, like ‘funny interesting’?”
“No,” now he is desperately trying to get out of this conversation, “He just said.. interesting.”
What the hell? My blog is many things – crude, wrong, offensive, badly written, etc… but INTERESTING? That’s the politically correct way of saying ‘it sucks’. Childrens’ attempts at interpretative dance are ‘interesting’, people who choose to sing ‘Amazing Grace’ at a karaoke bar are ‘interesting’, if you are under the age of 50 and you have juniper bushes in your front yard, that is ‘interesting’. My blog is NOT interesting. If you are coming here for parental advice you have made a huge Google detour, hit the back button and visit one of those other Mommy blogs that tells how how to efficiently pack an eco-friendly organic lunch. If you want to blow off steam and talk about how your kids are morons and sucking the life force out of you then grab a seat at the bar and share your stories with me. We have to stick together and warn the others.