You are overwhelmed with motherhood. What To Expect When You’re Expecting didn’t quite cover the tsunami of emotions and biological changes that have swallowed you. The first thing you need to KNOW, and I don’t say that lightly or flippantly of colloquially, you need to KNOW there are people out there that will help you. Ask for it. Yes, you may need to pay for some of it, some comes free, but take all the help you can get.
You are not supposed to go at this alone. Our villages have been replaced with Facebook groups and, seriously, when was the last time someone actually brought you a casserole? You need to reach out to Mother’s Groups, Mommy and Me Classes, mental health hot lines.
And I want you to practice these four words: This Works For Me.
If some mom is throwing you shade, state clearly “this works for me”, this will throw her off. “This works for me” is also an 800 milligram pain killer for personal insecurities.
“This works for me” is powerful because no one can argue with it. You can use it without claiming any moral high ground. It silences the doubters.
“This works for me,” your first time using it will feel uncomfortable. You are not really used to claiming your child raising skills, because we are all making this shit up as we go along. We can adjust our core child rearing philosophies as quickly as we open browser tabs. But we need to stop. No one knows your kid better than you. No one knows how to calm him or soothe him or when she gets low blood sugar like you. Trust that.
I wish someone had told me earlier in my child raising years to trust it. To stop listening to the hyperbole. No one knows your kid better than you.
You wanna serve mac and cheese every night, because that’s the only thing they eat. That works for me. You wanna over schedule them because they have more energy than the average kid. That works for me. You wanna let him play video games for an hour each day. Guess what? That works for me.
Only you know what works best for your family. Practice these 4 words. Use them well and wisely and know you’re doing great.
Love, Whitney aka The New Stepford