I took the kids bowling today and was surprised to see on the receipt a line item for a tip. So, just so I’m on board, this is what we are doing now? Tipping the people who give us our bowling lanes? Apparently another ‘recognized social norm’ email I didn’t get. And since I so very very often win the “So, Who’s the Asshole Now Game” it really doesn’t surprise me I was last to know.
That said, I still didn’t tip her. I don’t think just because you perform a service – like getting my shoe size right or making change for a dollar – justifies a gratuity. I think the tipping thing is a little backwards. For example, people who should get tipped – gynecologists, dentists, garbage men, children’s shoe salesmen – don’t. They are the ones that deserve it. Have you ever tried to get a shoe on a toddler –it’s a fresh kind of hell.
It’s a little easier not tipping on a cash exchange, but when you use your credit card you are CONSCIOUSLY stating to the person behind the counter “yes, I saw your request and I REJECTED it.” Ahh, doh, so awkward. They look down and pretend to smile, you give your best ‘really I’m a good person actually I just don’t feel your meager service job requires more of my hard earned cash’ smile and the exchange uncomfortably ends.
With food service, I don’t fear retribution since my food is already packaged and ready to go. But with the bowling diva, I was concerned there would be backlash. Would the bumpers come down in the middle of my roll? Would she turn my strikes to spares? Would she crate my Pomeranian show dog? It’s got fucking papers man.
Speaking of awkward exchanges, I felt terrible for the poor Target employee that had to help me with this request. 
With colors such as “Hep C can be Fun”, “Snail Trail”, and “Fire Crotch” I was really hoping to make this purchase. Maybe next year they won’t sell out so fast.