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Sharp Pencils in a Scotch Glass = Writer’s Porn


There is nothing like the smell – and feel – of sharpened lead. The way it introduces itself to paper. Sometimes coquettishly, flirting in pirouettes. Sometimes with a bold extended hand. The struggle as it spurts and yanks against itself, pleading for the right words to bleed out. The cadence of commas, the breath of […]



The Day I Became THAT Mom


There’s a moment when you kind of snap. When the world has shoveled just enough manure under your nose when you finally say ‘No More.’ My moment of truth happened during our elementary school talent show dress rehearsal. Those 6 words strung together stir bile in my stomach. In fact, elementary school talent shows in […]



No, my kid doesn’t have a phone. And yes, I know your kid is super busy.


My daughter is in 8th grade and she is the only one of her friends that doesn’t have a phone. We didn’t sign any online pact. We didn’t read any parenting psychology books. She made this decision herself based on what she saw every day during lunch, and what she sees through her friends’ Instagram […]



The 4 Words Every Mother Needs to Know


Precious girl. You are overwhelmed with motherhood. What To Expect When You’re Expecting didn’t quite cover the tsunami of emotions and biological changes that have swallowed you. The first thing you need to KNOW, and I don’t say that lightly or flippantly of colloquially, you need to KNOW there are people out there that will […]



An Election Perspective From The Pitch


Coaching is like childbirth. During the week with all the emails, parent complaints, lost shin guards and games you should have won but lost anyways – every year I throw up my hands and say ‘I’m not doing this again next year!’ But then next year when the emails start circulating calling for coaches, you […]



The Most Offensive and Inapro-pro Easter Cocktails


Hello everybody and Happy Easter. If you got stuck hosting Easter brunch this year, don’t worry we have got you covered. Whether your Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Muslim or Vegan we are going to set a bar that’s equally offensive to everyone. Our first is called the Peeptini. Ingredients: 2 Parts Marshmallow Vodka 1 part raspberry […]



Christmas PSA #4




Review of “THE WEEK” magazine 11.6.15 Jeter, Bacon and Blaufrankisch


Greetings fans of THE WEEK! We are reviewing THE WEEK’s headlines for November 6, 2105 in 5 minutes or less so you lazy bastards don’t have to. First let’s talk Benghazi. Ben-Gah – Zi.Republicans tried to frame Hil-a-ry — a-ry and she said watch me ‘no, no, no, no’. Whether you think the House Select […]



Review of “THE WEEK” magazine 10.9.15 The Pope, NASA and Matt Damon


Hi today we are going to review The Week – scanning this week’s top headlines in 5 minutes or less so you don’t have to. Today we will cover the week of October 9 , 2015. And if you are one of the 8 people that actually watch this video series you are correct in […]



THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T DRINK


This Is What Happens When You DON’T Drink My last 48 hours My husband is out of town. Which if you are a follower of The New Stepford you know means we are all suffering from protein deficiency. No one has eaten anything but cereal and peanut butter sandwiches for the last three days. I […]



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